What are good book club discussion questions for Actually, Nevermind?

Spoiler-free questions to get the conversation going: Where did you do most of your reading for this one, and did you find yourself reading bits out loud to someone in the room?; Was there a line that made you laugh out loud in public and have to explain yourself? Tell us the scene; Taylor writes about carrying a mother's absence into adulthood. What did it feel like to sit with that alongside the jokes, and did the humor make the tender parts easier or harder to take in?; She looks hard at the version of herself she used to be. When you thought about your own younger self while reading, were you gentle with her or tough on her?; What was the most comforting thing this book handed you, something you want to keep? It can be a whole idea or just a small reassurance.

What food and drinks should I serve at a Actually, Nevermind book club?

Food: Build-your-own grilled cheese bar with tomato soup in mugs, Boxed-cake-mix birthday cupcakes with thick frosting, and A snack board of childhood favorites, grown up slightly. Drinks: Slow cooker hot cocoa with a marshmallow bar, Chamomile and honey tea, pot refilled all evening, and Spiked cider with bourbon and a cinnamon stick.

Cozy night

Actually, NevermindBook club questions, food & host guide

Taylor Tomlinson

#3 New York Times Nonfiction Bestseller 1 week on the list

A cozy book club night for Actually, Nevermind by Taylor Tomlinson. Includes 8 spoiler-free discussion questions, food and drink pairings, a playlist, and a host guide, ready to print and share.

A club that likes laughing and getting a little teary in the same evening, with socks off and a blanket nearby

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Taylor Tomlinson turns her stand-up instincts toward the page in a collection of essays about growing up, growing older, and approaching the age her mother was when she died. It is funny and tender in the same breath, which makes it a lovely book to talk about with people you actually like.

Why it works for clubs

Short essays mean nobody feels behind, and everyone has a favorite to point to
Humor and grief sit side by side, so the conversation can go light or deep on cue
Themes of family, mortality, and figuring yourself out land differently at every age in the room
Her comedian's voice is so distinct that people naturally read bits aloud

Themes & mood

Warm and funny Grief and healing Coming of age Candid memoir Mother-daughter

Browse all themes →

Reading level

Easy

Warm-up questions

1 Where did you do most of your reading for this one, and did you find yourself reading bits out loud to someone in the room?
2 Was there a line that made you laugh out loud in public and have to explain yourself? Tell us the scene.

Digging in

1 Taylor writes about carrying a mother's absence into adulthood. What did it feel like to sit with that alongside the jokes, and did the humor make the tender parts easier or harder to take in?
2 She looks hard at the version of herself she used to be. When you thought about your own younger self while reading, were you gentle with her or tough on her?
3 What was the most comforting thing this book handed you, something you want to keep? It can be a whole idea or just a small reassurance.
4 A lot of these essays are about being honest out loud. Who in your life gets your unedited version, and what does it take for you to feel safe enough to be that honest?

Going deep

1 The book circles the idea of reaching an age that once felt impossibly far away. Is there a birthday, anniversary, or milestone that quietly looms for you, and what do you think you will need when you get there?
2 By the time you finished, did you feel like you had been let in on something private? What would you want to say back to her if you could, just gently, friend to friend?

On the table

Build-your-own grilled cheese bar with tomato soup in mugs

The ultimate after-a-hard-day comfort food, and a nod to the book's mix of childhood memory and grown-up self-soothing. Set out bread, three cheeses, and a griddle, and let people make their own.

Boxed-cake-mix birthday cupcakes with thick frosting

The book keeps circling birthdays and the ages we reach, so a slightly nostalgic, unfussy cupcake fits perfectly. Sprinkles are not optional.

A snack board of childhood favorites, grown up slightly

Good pretzels, sharp cheddar, apple slices with peanut butter, and the cereal you ate standing over the sink. It gets people telling family stories before the questions even start.

To sip

Slow cooker hot cocoa with a marshmallow bar No alcohol

Warm, forgiving, and endlessly refillable. Keep it on low all night with cinnamon, peppermint, and salted caramel syrups on the side.

Chamomile and honey tea, pot refilled all evening No alcohol

For the stretch of the night when the conversation turns to mothers and milestones and everyone gets quiet. A warm mug gives hands something to do.

Spiked cider with bourbon and a cinnamon stick

Cozy, a little indulgent, and exactly the drink for essays that laugh their way toward something tender. Heat the cider in a pot and let guests pour their own shot.

Soft-lit and bittersweet, acoustic guitar and quiet piano, songs about mothers and growing up that you can talk comfortably over.

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