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Book Club Night Kit
Becoming

Becoming

Michelle Obama
Cozy night

Michelle Obama's memoir moves from a crowded upstairs apartment on Chicago's South Side to the White House, told in a voice so unguarded it feels like a long kitchen-table conversation. It is a book about becoming rather than arriving, which makes it perfect for a night of soft lamps and shared stories.

Come Be Unfinished With Us

Bring your copy of Becoming, your coziest socks, and a story about the house you grew up in. There will be cocoa on the stove, honey cake, and nothing you have to prove.

Reading level: Easy Pages: 464

Best for: A club that likes memoirs, second helpings, and conversations that wander happily into their own lives

Discussion

Warm-up

  1. 1.Michelle writes with great tenderness about the sounds of her childhood home, including her great-aunt's piano lessons downstairs. What is one sound from the home you grew up in that you can still hear?
  2. 2.Where did you do most of your reading of this one, and did the book start to feel like company? Tell us about your spot, your blanket, your snack.

Digging in

  1. 1.The Robinson family dinner table, with its questions and debates and insistence that the kids speak up, is one of the warmest places in the book. Who in your life gave you permission to have opinions out loud?
  2. 2.She describes being told she was not quite the right material for a place she wanted to go. When you have felt measured and found wanting, what or who steadied you? How did it feel to read her version of that moment?
  3. 3.So much of the memoir is about the unglamorous work of keeping a family going, including bedtimes and groceries and a marriage that needed tending. Which of those ordinary-life passages moved you more than you expected?
  4. 4.The book treats the word becoming as something unfinished and ongoing. What are you quietly in the middle of becoming right now, if you feel like sharing?

Going deep

  1. 1.She leaves a career she worked enormously hard for because it did not feel like hers. If you could sit with her over tea at that crossroads, what would you want to ask her, and what would you want to tell her about your own version of that choice?
  2. 2.By the final pages the voice feels like someone who has made peace with being seen imperfectly. What did the book leave you feeling about your own story, and was there a passage you want to reread on a hard day?

On the table & to sip

To eat

Shrimp and grits with a pan of cornbread
A nod to the Southern roots that the Robinson and Shields families carried north to Chicago, and the kind of dish that makes a room go quiet in the best way.
Deep-dish-style skillet pizza, cut small
Pure South Side Chicago comfort, easy to make in one cast iron pan, and forgiving if conversation runs long.
White House Honey Cake squares with a bowl of whipped cream
A soft tribute to the famous White House Kitchen Garden and beehive, and a low-effort bake that tastes like someone took care of you.

To sip

Spiced hot cocoa bar with marshmallows and cinnamon sticks (no alcohol)
The non-alcoholic centerpiece: a pot on the stove, mugs out, and everyone serves themselves. Chicago winter in a cup.
Honey and lemon herbal tea pot (no alcohol)
Honey from the garden idea again, and the gentlest possible drink for a night built on listening.
Bourbon hot toddy
Warm, amber, and a little indulgent for anyone who wants something stronger while the cocoa goes around.

Run of show

7:00
Door, mug, blanket
Hand everyone a hot drink before they take their coat off. Have throws on the arms of chairs and lamps on instead of overheads.
7:15
Supper, no seating chart
Serve the skillet pizza and shrimp and grits buffet style. Let people eat and drift for a bit with the playlist low.
7:40
Warm-ups while plates are still full
Ask the two warm-up questions around the room. Nobody has to perform; one sentence is a complete answer.
8:00
The long middle
Work through the theme questions, but let tangents happen. If someone tells a story about their grandmother instead of the book, that is the night working.
8:40
Cake, trivia, and a breather
Bring out the honey cake and run the trivia as a loose team game. Low stakes, no scorekeeper needed.
9:00
Deep questions and a soft landing
Ask the two deep questions, then go around once for one word or one feeling. Hand out bookmarks as people leave.

Host tips

  • Set out index cards and pens early so anyone who hates speaking cold can jot a thought during supper and read it instead.
  • Say out loud at the start that nobody has to finish the book or share anything personal. Permission to pass makes people share more, not less.
  • Keep food on the table all night rather than clearing it. A cozy night dies the moment the host starts doing dishes.

Playlist

Soul, gospel-tinged warmth, and a little Chicago jazz, kept at kitchen-conversation volume

  1. 01 Lovely Day - Bill Withers
  2. 02 At Last - Etta James
  3. 03 A Change Is Gonna Come - Sam Cooke
  4. 04 Golden - Jill Scott
  5. 05 Home - Stephanie Mills
  6. 06 My Cherie Amour - Stevie Wonder
  7. 07 Feeling Good - Nina Simone
  8. 08 Lean on Me - Bill Withers

Trivia

  1. 1.In what year was Becoming published? (2018.)
  2. 2.Which American city's South Side is the setting for Michelle Obama's childhood in the book? (Chicago.)
  3. 3.Which two universities did Michelle Obama attend, for undergraduate and law school? (Princeton University, then Harvard Law School.)
  4. 4.What was her profession before she moved into public service and nonprofit work? (She was a lawyer, at the Chicago firm Sidley Austin.)
  5. 5.What is her maiden name? (Robinson.)
  6. 6.The memoir is divided into three parts. What single word do all three titles share? (Becoming (Becoming Me, Becoming Us, Becoming More).)
  7. 7.Which initiative encouraging children's health and activity did she lead as First Lady? (Let's Move!)
  8. 8.Becoming became one of the best selling memoirs of its era and was also released in which format read by the author herself? (An audiobook, narrated by Michelle Obama.)

Bookmarks

Print, cut, and tuck one at every seat, a small keepsake from the night.

Becoming
Becoming
Becoming

Rate the book

Warmth of the voice☆☆☆☆☆
Chapters I want to reread☆☆☆☆☆
Made me call someone☆☆☆☆☆
Comfort factor on a hard day☆☆☆☆☆
How much of my own life it stirred up☆☆☆☆☆
One word for how this book left me: ______________________
The passage I folded the corner on: ______________________
Something it made me remember about home: ______________________
That's a wrap
Thank you for coming

We hope the company was good and the conversation even better. Until the next chapter.