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Book Club Night Kit
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Mark Manson
Cozy night

Mark Manson's blunt, funny self-help book argues that a good life comes from choosing carefully what to care about, not from feeling positive all the time. It's a relief to read, and it gets people talking honestly around a warm table.

Come Let Go With Us

Bring your coziest socks and leave your worries at the door for an evening of warm soup, hot cocoa, and honest chat about The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. Finishing the book is optional, and so is caring about it too much.

Reading level: Easy

Best for: Friends who like to swap real-life stories under a blanket, with a mug in hand and a laugh never far off

Discussion

Warm-up

  1. 1.What is one small thing you've happily stopped caring about in the last few years, and how did it feel to finally let it go?
  2. 2.Was there a moment while reading when you laughed out loud or felt a little bit seen? What were you doing or feeling right then?

Digging in

  1. 1.Manson says we get to choose what we care about. Which of your 'cares' feels most like home to you, the kind you'd never want to give up?
  2. 2.The book suggests that pain and struggle are part of a good life, not a sign that something is wrong. Is there a hard season of your life that you now look back on with some tenderness?
  3. 3.How did it feel to read a self-help book that doesn't promise you'll always be happy? Did that comfort you, unsettle you, or both?
  4. 4.Manson writes about accepting that we're not exceptional in most ways. Did that idea feel freeing to you? Where in your life would it be a relief to just be ordinary?

Going deep

  1. 1.The book asks us to think about the values we're living by, sometimes without noticing. If you quietly swapped one value for a kinder or healthier one, what would change in your everyday life?
  2. 2.In its later chapters the book turns to bigger questions about what we leave behind and what really matters in the end. How did those pages sit with you, and did they make you want to hold anyone or anything a little closer?

On the table & to sip

To eat

Pick-Your-Struggle Loaded Baked Potato Bar
A nod to the book's idea that we all choose our struggles. Guests pile on the toppings they're willing to fight for, and it's warm, filling, and easy for the host.
Back-to-Basics Tomato Soup with Grilled Cheese Dippers
Simple and honest with no pretense, like the book's case for caring about fewer, better things. Nothing is more comforting to dunk.
Gloriously Imperfect Brown Butter Skillet Cookie
Baked in one pan and served warm with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. It's meant to look a bit messy, just like the book's embrace of flaws.

To sip

Don't Try Hot Chocolate (no alcohol)
A rich, lazy-in-the-best-way cocoa with a marshmallow topping bar, named after the Bukowski epitaph that opens the book. Nothing to measure and nothing to perfect.
Let-It-Go Chamomile Honey Tea (no alcohol)
A calming mug for anyone who wants to set down their worries for the evening, with lemon and honey on the side.
Spiked Cinnamon Apple Cider
Warm cider in a slow cooker, with bourbon or spiced rum for anyone who wants it. It's cozy, forgiving, and totally unfussy.

Run of show

7:00
Settle In
Welcome everyone with a warm drink, soft music, and blankets. Nobody has to have finished the book.
7:15
Potato Bar and Soup
Let guests build their plates and chat freely. Put bookmarks and scorecards at each seat.
7:45
Warm-Up Round
Go around the circle with the warm-up questions. Keep it light and let people pass.
8:05
Heart-to-Heart
Move into the theme and deep questions, drawing cards from a bowl so nobody feels put on the spot.
8:45
Skillet Cookie and Trivia
Serve the warm cookie family-style and play a relaxed, no-score trivia round.
9:15
One Thing I'm Letting Go Of
Close by having anyone who wants to share one worry they're leaving behind tonight, then fill out scorecards.

Host tips

  • Make it clear up front that sharing is always optional. Cozy means no pressure, and passing on a question is welcome.
  • Prep the soup, cider, and potato toppings earlier in the day so you can relax with your guests instead of cooking.
  • Keep a small basket of extra blankets and cozy socks by the couch. It sets the tone right away.

Playlist

Mellow, sunny acoustic songs about letting go, taking it easy, and finding peace in the ordinary

  1. 01 Let It Be - The Beatles
  2. 02 Three Little Birds - Bob Marley & The Wailers
  3. 03 Don't Worry Be Happy - Bobby McFerrin
  4. 04 Better Together - Jack Johnson
  5. 05 Here Comes the Sun - The Beatles
  6. 06 Simple Man - Lynyrd Skynyrd
  7. 07 Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield
  8. 08 Banana Pancakes - Jack Johnson

Trivia

  1. 1.What is the full subtitle of the book? (A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life)
  2. 2.In what year was the book first published? (2016)
  3. 3.Before this book, Mark Manson was best known for what kind of writing? (Blogging (his personal advice blog))
  4. 4.Which poet's gravestone, reading 'Don't Try,' does Manson discuss early in the book? (Charles Bukowski)
  5. 5.Which heavy metal guitarist, famously kicked out of Metallica, does Manson use as an example? (Dave Mustaine (who went on to form Megadeth))
  6. 6.Which Japanese soldier, who kept fighting in the jungle for decades after World War II ended, appears in the book? (Hiroo Onoda)
  7. 7.What is the title of Manson's 2019 follow-up book? (Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope)
  8. 8.What genre is this book usually shelved under? (Self-help (nonfiction))

Bookmarks

Print, cut, and tuck one at every seat, a small keepsake from the night.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

“Care less about everything, and more about what's warm.”

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Mark Manson
bookclubnight.com
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

“Not every worry deserves a seat at your table.”

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Mark Manson
bookclubnight.com
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

“Perfectly imperfect, wrapped in a blanket, and fine.”

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Mark Manson
bookclubnight.com

Rate the book

Comfort Level☆☆☆☆☆
Laugh-Out-Loud Moments☆☆☆☆☆
Felt Seen☆☆☆☆☆
Worth Remembering☆☆☆☆☆
Would Lend to a Friend☆☆☆☆☆
One thing I'm letting go of after tonight: ______________________
The idea that felt like a warm hug: ______________________
One cozy word for this book: ______________________
That's a wrap
Thank you for coming

We hope the company was good and the conversation even better. Until the next chapter.