The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Mark Manson's blunt, funny self-help book argues that a good life comes from choosing carefully what to care about, not from feeling positive all the time. It's a relief to read, and it gets people talking honestly around a warm table.
Bring your coziest socks and leave your worries at the door for an evening of warm soup, hot cocoa, and honest chat about The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. Finishing the book is optional, and so is caring about it too much.
Best for: Friends who like to swap real-life stories under a blanket, with a mug in hand and a laugh never far off
Discussion
Warm-up
- 1.What is one small thing you've happily stopped caring about in the last few years, and how did it feel to finally let it go?
- 2.Was there a moment while reading when you laughed out loud or felt a little bit seen? What were you doing or feeling right then?
Digging in
- 1.Manson says we get to choose what we care about. Which of your 'cares' feels most like home to you, the kind you'd never want to give up?
- 2.The book suggests that pain and struggle are part of a good life, not a sign that something is wrong. Is there a hard season of your life that you now look back on with some tenderness?
- 3.How did it feel to read a self-help book that doesn't promise you'll always be happy? Did that comfort you, unsettle you, or both?
- 4.Manson writes about accepting that we're not exceptional in most ways. Did that idea feel freeing to you? Where in your life would it be a relief to just be ordinary?
Going deep
- 1.The book asks us to think about the values we're living by, sometimes without noticing. If you quietly swapped one value for a kinder or healthier one, what would change in your everyday life?
- 2.In its later chapters the book turns to bigger questions about what we leave behind and what really matters in the end. How did those pages sit with you, and did they make you want to hold anyone or anything a little closer?
On the table & to sip
To eat
To sip
Run of show
Host tips
- Make it clear up front that sharing is always optional. Cozy means no pressure, and passing on a question is welcome.
- Prep the soup, cider, and potato toppings earlier in the day so you can relax with your guests instead of cooking.
- Keep a small basket of extra blankets and cozy socks by the couch. It sets the tone right away.
Playlist
Mellow, sunny acoustic songs about letting go, taking it easy, and finding peace in the ordinary
- 01 Let It Be - The Beatles
- 02 Three Little Birds - Bob Marley & The Wailers
- 03 Don't Worry Be Happy - Bobby McFerrin
- 04 Better Together - Jack Johnson
- 05 Here Comes the Sun - The Beatles
- 06 Simple Man - Lynyrd Skynyrd
- 07 Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield
- 08 Banana Pancakes - Jack Johnson
Trivia
- 1.What is the full subtitle of the book? (A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life)
- 2.In what year was the book first published? (2016)
- 3.Before this book, Mark Manson was best known for what kind of writing? (Blogging (his personal advice blog))
- 4.Which poet's gravestone, reading 'Don't Try,' does Manson discuss early in the book? (Charles Bukowski)
- 5.Which heavy metal guitarist, famously kicked out of Metallica, does Manson use as an example? (Dave Mustaine (who went on to form Megadeth))
- 6.Which Japanese soldier, who kept fighting in the jungle for decades after World War II ended, appears in the book? (Hiroo Onoda)
- 7.What is the title of Manson's 2019 follow-up book? (Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope)
- 8.What genre is this book usually shelved under? (Self-help (nonfiction))
Bookmarks
Print, cut, and tuck one at every seat, a small keepsake from the night.
“Care less about everything, and more about what's warm.”
“Not every worry deserves a seat at your table.”
“Perfectly imperfect, wrapped in a blanket, and fine.”
Rate the book
We hope the company was good and the conversation even better. Until the next chapter.