Cozy night
Bad FeministBook club questions, food & host guide
Roxane Gay
Picked by
Service95 Book Club
Service95 Book Club
A cozy book club night for Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay. Includes 8 spoiler-free discussion questions, food and drink pairings, a playlist, and a host guide, ready to print and share.
A club that likes talking about their own lives as much as the book, and does not mind a little laughing and a little sincerity in the same hour
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Roxane Gay's essay collection turns pop culture, politics, and personal history into a candid conversation about trying to live your values imperfectly. It is warm, funny, and generous, which makes it unusually easy to talk about out loud.
Why it works for clubs
- Short essays mean everyone has something they finished and loved, even on a busy week
- Gay writes about Sweet Valley High, competitive Scrabble, and reality TV alongside serious subjects, so entry points are everywhere
- The central idea (caring about something while falling short of it) invites honest, low-stakes confession
- No plot to track, so the group can wander and circle back without anyone getting lost
Reading level
Moderate
Pages
324
Warm-up questions
- 1 Gay writes about loving things that are not good for her and not good, period. What is your comfort watch, comfort read, or comfort snack that you would happily defend to this room?
- 2 Which essay did you read in one sitting without meaning to, and where were you sitting when it happened?
Digging in
- 1 The phrase 'bad feminist' is offered as relief rather than accusation. Did reading it loosen something for you, and in what part of your life?
- 2 Gay is tender about her younger self and the books that raised her. What did you read as a kid that you still feel protective of, even knowing its flaws?
- 3 Several essays move from a movie or a TV show straight into something personal. Did one of those turns catch you off guard and make you think about your own life?
- 4 This collection is openly fond of being a fan: of singers, of shows, of competitive games. What is something you love with no cool detachment at all?
Going deep
- 1 Gay writes carefully about her own body, her privacy, and the cost of telling the truth in public. What did it feel like to be trusted with that, and did it change how you think about what you share?
- 2 By the time you closed the book, had your sense of what it means to hold a belief imperfectly shifted? Say it as a feeling rather than a verdict if that is easier.
On the table
Baked macaroni and cheese with a crunchy top
Gay writes affectionately about Midwestern and Nebraska life, and nothing says low-pressure sincerity like a pan of mac and cheese set on a trivet in the middle of the table.
Haitian-inspired pate (flaky savory hand pies)
A gentle nod to the author's Haitian-American roots, and the perfect food for a night where people talk with their hands full.
Boxed-brownie sundae bar with real whipped cream
Deliberately unfancy and a little indulgent, in the spirit of a book that refuses to pretend it only likes respectable things. Set out bowls and let people build.
To sip
Hot cocoa with cinnamon and a pinch of salt
No alcohol
The non-alcoholic anchor of the night. Warm mugs make confessional conversation much easier.
Spiced rum hot cider
A warm, sippable nod to Haitian rum traditions, kept simple with cider on the stove and a bottle beside it.
Red wine, poured unceremoniously
One bottle, no notes, no tasting language. The point is comfort, not curation.
Soulful, unhurried, and a little nostalgic, the sound of a kitchen where people are telling the truth over dessert
Tap a track to play it. Full songs play when you're signed into Spotify.
Run of show
7:00
Mugs first
Cocoa and cider on the stove, nothing scheduled. Let people hold something warm before they say anything.
7:20
Dinner on the table
Serve the mac and cheese and hand pies family style. Eating together first makes the discussion feel like a continuation, not a performance.
7:45
Warm-up round
Go around with the comfort-watch question. Keep it short and funny so nobody is braced for a quiz.
8:05
The essay everyone marked
Invite each person to name one essay that stuck, then follow whichever one lights up the room. Resist covering all of them.
8:40
Sundae bar and the deeper turn
Move to dessert, then ease into the two deep questions. Sugar and softer light do a lot of the work.
9:15
Bookmarks and wind-down
Pass out bookmarks and scorecards, collect one-word verdicts, and let the night trail off instead of ending it.
Host tips
- Say out loud at the start that nobody has to have finished the whole book. With an essay collection, partial readers are often the best talkers.
- Have a few sticky notes on the table so people can flag a page without needing to have prepared anything in advance.
- If a question lands on something personal and the room goes quiet, do not rescue it immediately. Let the pause sit, then offer your own answer first.
You're invited
Come Be Imperfect With Us
Bring your copy of Bad Feminist and your least defensible favorite show. There will be mac and cheese, hot cocoa, a brownie sundae bar, and absolutely no quiz.
Trivia
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1
In what year was Bad Feminist first published?Answer: 2014.
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2
Roxane Gay published a novel the same year as Bad Feminist. What was it called?Answer: An Untamed State.
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3
What is Gay's family heritage, which she writes about in the collection?Answer: Haitian-American.
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4
What form is Bad Feminist written in?Answer: A collection of essays, not a novel or memoir in the traditional sense.
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5
Which bestselling memoir about her body did Gay publish in 2017?Answer: Hunger.
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6
Gay has written for Marvel, co-authoring a series set in Wakanda. Which one?Answer: World of Wakanda.
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7
Besides writing, what has Gay's longtime profession been?Answer: Professor and teacher of writing.
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8
Which competitive board game tournament scene does Gay write about attending?Answer: Competitive Scrabble.
Bookmarks
Cozy night
Warm permission
Hold your values loosely. Hold your cocoa tightly.
Bad Feminist
Cozy night
Gentle relief
Loving a flawed thing does not make you a fraud.
Bad Feminist
Cozy night
Kitchen table
Honest talk, second helpings, no verdict required.
Bad Feminist
Rate the book
Warmth
Made me laugh
Made me think about my own life
Would reread an essay from it
Easy to talk about out loud
One word for how this book left you feeling:
The essay I would hand to a friend:
Something I confessed tonight that surprised me:
Print pack
- Question cards on kraft paper, one per card, for passing around the table
- Sticky-note 'flag your essay' slips tucked into each invite
- Bookmark trio printed three to a page
- Scorecard half-sheets with space for a one-word verdict
- A hand-lettered sundae bar topping list
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