How to Win Friends and Influence People
A gentle, surprisingly tender classic about noticing people, remembering names, and making others feel valued. It works well for a cozy evening because every chapter nudges you to share stories about the people who shaped you.
Join us for a slow, cozy evening of chicken and dumplings, warm cider, and heartfelt stories inspired by Dale Carnegie's timeless classic. Bring a blanket and the name of someone who once made you feel truly seen.
Best for: Friendly clubs who love swapping personal stories over something warm to drink
Discussion
Warm-up
- 1.Who is the person in your life who always remembers your name, your coffee order, or the little things you mention? How does it feel when they do?
- 2.Where were you curled up while reading this, and was there a moment you caught yourself smiling or thinking of a specific friend?
Digging in
- 1.Carnegie puts a lot of weight on being genuinely interested in others. Can you share a time someone's simple curiosity about you made a hard day feel lighter?
- 2.Sincere appreciation comes up again and again in the book. Who is someone you have been meaning to thank, and what would you want them to know?
- 3.The book gently suggests we criticize less and understand more. Did that stir any tender memories of someone who chose patience with you when you least expected it?
- 4.Listening well is treated almost like a gift. What does it feel like, in your body and heart, to be really listened to, and who does that for you?
Going deep
- 1.Did any part of the book make you feel a little vulnerable or recognize a habit you would like to soften? How did it feel to sit with that, and what kind thing might you try instead?
- 2.Some readers find the book's advice sweet and heartfelt, while others worry it can feel like technique. When you imagine using these ideas with the people you love most, what keeps them feeling warm and sincere for you?
On the table & to sip
To eat
To sip
Run of show
Host tips
- Place a small basket of blank thank-you cards and pens on the coffee table so guests can put the book's appreciation theme into practice before they leave.
- Model gentle vulnerability by sharing your own answer first, then pass a cozy object (like a mug or small pillow) to signal whose turn it is to speak.
- Keep the stove on low so the cider and cocoa stay warm all night and guests can refill without asking.
Playlist
Soft 1930s crooners mixed with warm, timeless songs about friendship, played low like a record spinning in the next room
- 01 The Way You Look Tonight - Fred Astaire
- 02 Pennies from Heaven - Bing Crosby
- 03 Cheek to Cheek - Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong
- 04 Smile - Nat King Cole
- 05 What a Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong
- 06 You've Got a Friend - Carole King
- 07 Lean on Me - Bill Withers
- 08 Thank You for Being a Friend - Andrew Gold
Trivia
- 1.In what year was How to Win Friends and Influence People first published? (1936)
- 2.Which publishing house released the original edition? (Simon & Schuster)
- 3.In which U.S. state was Dale Carnegie born and raised on a farm? (Missouri)
- 4.Dale Carnegie changed the spelling of his last name. What was the original spelling? (Carnagey)
- 5.The book grew out of courses Carnegie taught in what kind of organization in New York City, starting in 1912? (A YMCA)
- 6.Which famous investor has said that taking a Dale Carnegie course changed his life? (Warren Buffett)
- 7.What was the title of Carnegie's 1948 follow-up book about managing anxiety? (How to Stop Worrying and Start Living)
- 8.Roughly how many copies has the book sold worldwide? (More than 30 million)
Bookmarks
Print, cut, and tuck one at every seat, a small keepsake from the night.
“Say their name like it matters. It does.”
“Pour another cup and ask one more question.”
“Kindness lingers longer than being right ever could.”
Rate the book
We hope the company was good and the conversation even better. Until the next chapter.